My Cat is Insane: Certifiably

Charlotte the cat- misunderstood and loathed by most, particularly my roommates. It's true, Charlotte the cat is a fucking handful.  She's never satisfied and in constant need of attention, yet when you show her any affection she goes tearing down the hall in the other direction.  Ah, cats.  So much like Cosmo Girls.


Here are a few things she's done to date:

• This is Lazer. Charlotte aimed to prove who wore the pants in her household, so she attacked this dog.  A perfectly timed attack, she literally sat in the hall waiting until he had to pass her and his guard was down when she kitty punched him, claws drawn and hissing, sending him yelping and cowering down the hall.  Yes, she instilled a lasting fear in poor lazer. #fierce.
  
  
  
  
  
• Charlotte has an advanced palate for a kitty. She's been known to eat spinach, raw ground beef (that she steals when your back is turned while cooking) and raw pasta,
  
  
• Charlotte is always desperate for attention, but refuses to be picked up and held. I discussed this problem with a co-worker to sent me this link, which got me thinking about spanking the cat. I've always thought of cats as snugly creatures, but Charlotte's weird, so I tried it. I shouldn't be surprised- she's a lot like a character from a Dostoevsky novel.

She can be cute sometimes, though.  Not to sound like a cat lady, but she does this roll when she wants your attention that just kills me.  She also has amazing taste in music - she loves The Beatles White Album and The Shout Out Louds.