this is very japanese

etoooooooo ne...eeeeehhh!?

the drunk business man passed out on the train...this is very japanese















the girl who sits next to you at a coffee shop and pulls out an electric curling iron...this is very japanese.

the shirts in strange engrish, usually offering some strange sexual suggestion...this is very japanese














children (or adults) dressed as cartoon characters or animals...this is very japanese







(by the way: these outfits are placed next to the lingerie)










pickled anything and fish on a stick...this is very japanese



















really really short skirts with boots and really really big hair for girls. really really white boots and pink leapord shirts for boys...this is very japanese.

bars and restaurants crammed into one tiny office building, with a tiny sign outside that makes it impossible to find a place if you're actually looking for it...this is very japanese.
















hostesses wearing thin dresses in the cold while bowing to a group of departing businessmen repeatedly, as if the bobbing warms them up...this is very japanese.

littles in really kawaii outfits...this is very japanese













puppies for 235,000 yen...this is very japanese

bling...cell phones, belt buckles, boots, jeans, fingernails. if it's got surface area and you can put jewels on it, it needs bling....this is very japanese












a high pitched phone voice and a costume to sell electronics...this is very japanese








getting really red and falling on the floor OR pretending to be mickey mouse when you get wasted....this is VERY japanese

meri kurisumasu

i knew if i didn't get my act together, i wouldn't leave nagoya for christmas and that would depress me. though it was a risk that i would be alone for christmas, i decided to take off and travel through kansai for the holidays. as you know this is a huge gamble because it depends so much on who happens to be in the same hostel as you or who you happen to meet at a coffee shop.

osaka

for such a cosmpolitan city, osaka is very confusing. unlike other japanese cities, osakans walk on the other side of the street and stand on the other side of the escalator. this is pretty confusing, considering, as an an american, i'm conciously trying to follow traffic as the japanese drive. also, unlike most japanese cities, they don't have signs romanji or provide maps in english are addresses in either language. lucikly, my amazing sense of observation triumphed and i found my way by following everyone else. i dumped my bag at my hostel and wandered around osaka-ekis looking for the umeda sky building. what i found there was so bizarre, i should have expected it: a german christmas village set up at the bottom of the building featuring a huge christmas tree and js stuffing themselves with bratwurst and sauerkraut while taking pictures of the miniature snowman placed on a throne in a roped off section of the village. gotta love the randomness of japan sometimes- you never know what you're going to find after a wonderful dinner with my friend's family and a failed attempt at riding the world's largest ferris wheel, i head back to my hostel satisfied at my christmas eve. only when i got there, the hostel kids were partying with calpis and chuhai, so i joined in and kicked off for a very merry christmas eve. we planned a christmas breakfast and christmas carol karaoke, but that wasn't in the cards for me.
instead, i spent christmas morning at the vietnamese embassy trying to get a visa (since i'm only in osaka today and i had to get in while i was in town) it was only 2 hours, but it was really frightening: the room was barren and the face of the employees were stark. it was the epitome of statism at its best- cold and calculated. the english forms were behind the desk, but the man wouldn't talk to me until it was my turn so i couldn't start filling out the form. then when i borrowed a pen, i was lectured on not returning it promptly and putting the glue and scissors in the wrong place (which ironically was where i had found them) i can't say that i was shocked, but i felt compelled to call him "sir" and sit up straight in my chair. so when i left, i made a point of telling him merry christmas, even though my new friend the college professor from San Francisco reminded me that "communists don't celebrate christmas!" so i missed the group, but my friend willow arrived shortly after and we made our way to kobe, eating our american christmas feast of mcdonald's on the train, earning us looks of disgust and complete shock for our lack of manners.

kobe

my hostel was hidden above a car repair shop in a pretty industrial neighborhood, but when i went inside it turned out to be just charming. willow and i befriended a few hostellers and we went through the neighborhood sake breweries for sake tasting. 7 factories, countless glasses and a detailed guided tour later, we made our way to harborland: kobe's port amusement park. willow, taro and i got on the kobe ferris wheel with a bottle of sake and toasted to christmas while overlooking the port with it's crazy modern buildings and lights. we found a great restaurant with a view of the water and feasted on grilled hamburgers and beer. willow went back to osaka and taro and i drank chuhai on the steps of kobe dears' backpackers.
so the next day, we borrowed bikes and tried to ride to the cable car to visit arima onsen. this mission was seriously flawed in that the cable car is almost impossible to find, which is why people take buses up there. after climbing 2 mountains, screwing up and soaring down them at at top speed, we finally got to the cable car. we took it up to mount rokko and had a coffee at the top of the mountain as the sunset over kobe and revealed the lights of the city. from there we rode our bikes back down the mountain without having to peddle once. we then went to chinatown for gyoza and to the trendy district in search of gaylord, the indian restaurant, which is really funny when you start asking people for directions. (garlord wa doko desu ka?)

around the world- tokyo in 24 hours

this trip definitely gave clarity to the phrase, scratch the surface. i realize that to go to tokyo for 24 hours is a little on the crazy side, but the purpose of this trip was to see daft punk, which alone was worth the trip!

i was about to blow it off with my million excuses: too expensive, too difficult, too much to do alone. well, then my friend martin called and told me he and his friends were going to do it and i was welcome to come along. we left nagoya at 10 pm on an overnight sleeper bus and arrived in tokyo at 5 am, just in time to make our way to tsukiji for the freshest catch of the day. we ate the world's best tuna nigiri: toro, the belly of the tuna, for 800 yen a piece. worth every savory, melty cent!




from there we went to the imperial garden and wandered around the city's electronic district, made our way to shibuya for the classic "lost in translation" video moment. we watched hundreds of people flood the intersection, crossing through innumerable ads featuring cameron diaz the softbank poster girl and will smith (pronounced uiu sumisu in katakana). thierry and i ran from the shinjuku station, attempting to outrun the sunset. defeated, we took out a stiff bottle of gin and drank on the steps of the government building until martin and daniel arrived. we went up into the government building and peered over the entire expanse of tokyo city. it spanned for miles: purple and orange lights creating a dreamy effect on the city.


once we found our hostel and took showers, we made our way out on the town- down shinjuku dori and then to roppongi where we danced all night. the bar was so packed, it was impossible to move without being shoved, so i took shelter atop the bar and convinced some of the bartenders to hook a girl up. so we returned to the hostel around 5 in the morning, thus completing one full circle of 24 hours non-stop tokyo.

the next morning we took our trains to get to the venue for dafunk fest: daft punk in tokyo. mathieu had brought a bottle of whiskey and since some silly j had not shown up for work with the tickets (an unheard of japanese error), and all the gaijin were stuck in a line waiting for their etickets while innumerable js, who had been smart enough to buy their tickets at the circle k, walked right in, we decided to keep warm with whiskey cider. this lightened the mood considerably. once we finally arrived inside, we saw a japanese electronic band play that had an animation film behind them which coincided with the music they made. the film was crazy: two chinese dragons come to life from a shrine and fly around, then dive into the sea and chase sea life around. it was like pixar meets dj shadow- cntrl would have loved it!!














the show had 10,000 people in the venue and it felt like it when the pyramid was revealed. i was smashed against a sea of people who errupted in screams when, "television rules the nation" sounded out over us. the set was unreal. the lights were unreal. the energy was unreal. it's hard to put something like that into words- which is why man invented the camera with video capacity.

so, without a doubt, this has been the highlight of my trip to japan. i enjoyed every second of my intense tokyo weekend. i'm going back for new years, so i'll be sure to add all the lovely details of crazy j parties and ridiculous outfits; like the hostesses dressed as sexy santa. its to die for funny!

matheson hammock

i remember my heart swelled up that night and i erupted into an aria. we had ridden our bicycles like two small children down banyan-lined streets, their branches twisting toward the sky, forming coves and hiding places. admiring homes and imagining what our lives would be like in those places until the streets led us to the park, void of all human breath save the guard sleeping behind the gate. we wound around the yachts and the mangrove thickets, emerging at the lagoon- silver in the moonlight- beyond which we could see the lights of downtown and the beach. the distance was comforting. we climbed on the coral rocks and looked into the silver water, then mounted our bikes and rode, the moon shining from our t shirts and the blondest flecks of our hair. i pedaled fast to match my joy until the release became a song. the music was born from the most beautiful part of me and it rose above the wetland mangroves and into the humid air.

top ten most ironic things about japanese

10- as obsessed as they are with separating their recyclables, they end up in the same can.

9- single girls pulling out wireless curling irons at coffee shop tables to fix their hair while most married women dress in plaid aprons.

8- excellent public transportation, all of which stops at midnight- why the party rep? i guess that's why you can sleep in internet cafes!

7- you can't book anything online- that would jeopardize the jobs of people who aren't as efficient as computers.

6- there is a form for everything- which must be filled out correctly and fingerprinted or stamped if imperfect. this process can take up to 6 hours to complete because someone has to find the form in a filing cabinet and someone else has to write and stamp everything. (see point 7)

5- but didn't js invent computers?

4- japanese don't have central air or heat because they are worried about effects on the environment- because it's more important for your the environment to be a little less inconvenienced than your sweating or freezing family.

3- ovens and dryers are not standard japanese equipment- which makes housework more tedious, thus housewives more necessary. see point 6.

2- you must take your shoes off everywhere, which is more sanitary than sticking your feet in communal slippers. ( i know a girl who got a foot fungus from that). you can't wear your shoes inside BUT you can wear the slippers outside and come back inside without changing them (?)

1- public bathrooms have either heated toilet seats or you're squatting over a hole in the ground. no soap. no toilet paper. if those things bother you, carry your own. but isn't this supposed to be a sanitary country?